Councilling

After waiting since January and my ordeal, I now have an appointment to see a councillor. I was in two minds as to weather to go now, as it has been so long and do I really need it, but then I would always wonder if I had just covered over it and not faced up to it. I may have got over it, or it may be that I am not really facing it, and therefore I havn't got anywhere near to getting over it...
Most people who know what happened (as much as they can know) have said it is a good idea and I should go, but I haven't told hubby, and when the letter came today, he asked what it was. I told him it was for an appointment, a meeting. 'What meeting?' so I said I was getting counselling, to which he asked why hadn't I discussed it with him? I said it was just to see if I was ok still, and getting on alright. He then asked why I hadn't told him and I said because you wouldn't agree with it and think I shouldn't go. He said that's right but you should still discuss it with me. If he knew the real reason, I know it would hit the fan, so to speak. He thinks we are over it, moved on. And maybe we are, but I need to know for sure, to know it isn't just the meds dulling my senses and that I am ok with the fact he did what he did...I can't even bring myself to expose it on here.
So much has happened since then, I don't know if I will remember it all....babies being born, grandma dying, burning myself, dad coming out, mum and dad separating, sister's od.....what a mess! Maybe after this counselling I should see about a councillor to deal with that lot!