Ill - again!

Yes, got the lurgy....or a throat infection/flu that left me in bed for days unable to hardly swallow and sipping water even felt like razor blades cutting my throat. On anti-biotics now, which has helped me with the swallowing/ aches and shakes etc but still have a sore throat and stupid tickle that nearly makes me sick when I cough! Ah well, at least I am not dying!

Mum seems to be settling in well, just waiting on fridge freezer, which should arrive today, and her bed, which doesn't come until 2nd March...so she is kipping on the couch! Has stayed here, and is coming down tonight to stay while we jet off to sunny Scarborough to visit family, sort out the flat, etc, then it will be just over a week until her bed comes! She had problems with the heating, but it is sorted now!

One minute hubby has job at the council, next he doesn't....getting sick of it now! Been told, had emails etc but nothing on paper....so still waiting!!! On the other job front, he is having a meeting today with the big boss man to get some things sorted out, see how the land lies financially, as things seem to be worse than he thought.... :o( So going from being great, no worries in a few months financially, to woe, what have we done?! Ah well, still have roof over our heads....

I did get a cheque for the ppi insurance I had on an Egg loan that was missold! Yay! Thought of all the glorious things I could spend it on....then the bills came in! Just waiting for it to clear... from £750 to £600 already as the bank I paid it into have dropped my overdraft!

I did something I wish I hadn't....like I always do! Looked at something I shouldn't have...
I have always, from as far back as I can remember, loved going in my mums jewellery box. I never ever took anything, but loved trying it all on, and just seeing what was in it....well, when I was up unpacking her stuff before she got here, I came across it...so had to look!
When my grandad died last year, all my brother wanted of his was his 'best' watch, the one saved for special occasions, rolled gold. He couldn't find it. I suspected my dad had taken it first out of spite...or it had been pinched by someone and he hadn't noticed. Well, I have found a mans watch.... and don't know if it is my Grandads. I really should ask my mum, confront her if it is, but then should I have been going threw her jewellery? argggg! Don't want to ask my brother what the watch was like, as don't need any more trouble there. I am thinking it is one of 3 possibilities...1. My dad put it there and mum doesn't know. 2. My mum does know because she put it there. 3. It isn't even my grandads, but dads/her dads watch. Going to try build up the courage to say something today, and if it is Grandads, take it up for my brother!!!

Still stuck in a rut with the weight loss....thought I would have done well this week with being ill and not eating for nearly 2 days... but no, I have gained! Of to start swimming again when I get back I think! Well, that is about it for now.... Got to go get dressed, been waiting for my avon order to arrive since 7.30am and still no sign... hope he hasn't had an accident!

2%

Yep, I was wrong.

Why does my crazy brain get a fleeting crazy notion, and decide to run with it, make me go insane thinking about all the possibilities, and take me a week to ask about it? Why? hubby is right, I am insane! And I really need to get my head sorted and not go off at tangents, and learn to speak up!

It's mad, sometimes I am the bravest, speak my mind woman, then others I daren't say boo to a goose. Hormones have a say in what kind of woman I am, brave or scared. Hubby needs to get his swimmers, or hopefully lack of them, checked and I can get of this darn stupid pill and get back to routine, and then hopefully manage my moods, migraines and everything else that comes along...

Hubby is off in France for a couple of days, another freebie, tasting great food and drinking fine wine, touring 101 places in 48 hours! I don't mind, but he worries that I am left on my own with the kids for 3 days! I don't know why he worries, I mean, 2 kids, 3 days, no help, not a problem. It's not like I am a single mum, or have a husband who works away for months on end. And I am kind of used to doing most things by myself anyway, as he works so many hours. It's no big deal. Just wish he wouldn't worry and feel guilty for getting a break!

Nothing much else is happening...except I am now back to my pre-pregnancy weight! Only taken me 21 months, though I did only start in November last year, so really it's 1o months...not bad considering they say it takes you 9 months to gain it so don't expect to loose it any quicker. Now it's down to the serious, proper weight loss! I WILL be a size 16 again...and go on to maybe a 14 or even a 12! To think when I started I worked out in my naivety that I would be a 16 by this summer...gone, and I am only now a 20/18 in some clothes...I think it is going to take me a lot longer than I thought! Going on it taking me 10 months to loose 2 1/2 stone, and I still have just under 5 to loose, I think I am looking at summer 2010....

Feeling rough

Full of cold and aches....waiting for the lemsip max tablets to kick in and I just want to sleep! Didn't get up until 2.30, had a bit of lunch and decided to take a shower to try and see if it helped.... It did for a while, got the washing sorted and kids organised, then feel rough again. Just came on to check my mail and bits and pieces then I am off to lie down again.

Hubby had the snip yesterday, so he's all 'injured' and spent the rest of the day resting...waited on hand and foot, and seems to have survived ok! Had a shower this afternoon, cleaned it all up and he can't believe how small the hole is! LOL! He's gone off to work for a couple of hours, so we shall see how good he is feeling when he gets back!

Didn't get to go to my counselling last week, she called on the day to cancel it, as her car had been broken into and she had to wait for someone to come fix it. So re-scheduled it to Thursday...nearly said to cancel it, but didn't. Got to give it a go or I will always wonder...

Picked up in the mood stakes from around Thursday, though still had my moments. Obviously with coming down with this darn cold since Saturday it hasn't helped, but I am going to give things a few more weeks and see how it goes.

Managed to lose 1lb this week too, which was a bonus as I expected another gain! Just want to eat all the time recently, it seems like a constant battle to stop myself from shoveling food down my mouth all day! Put it down to stress, and it must have been the way I coped with it! Most days I am winning, but it is a struggle. Oh well, nearly into the 14 stone mark, and half a stone from my pre-pregnancy weight!

Can't think of a decent title....that's how it is right now...

I put on weight last week....1/2 lb. I was expecting it though as I have kind of gone off the rails a bit this past couple of weeks! I am expecting to stay the same this week, hopefully not gained again! Full of good intentions then had a curry with the trimmings, thinking I was being good with the mixed grill, only to find out after I had eaten it that the whole thing added up to over a days points worth!! So set the week off to another spiraling downward mess! Picked myself up again these past two days though so hopefully there won't be too much damage!

Still feeling crappy. Think I am just waiting for the counselling now on Wednesday to see if that is why, and wondering if I am going to have to increase the old meds again...maybe 10mg just isn't enough for me and I need 20mg and that is the way it is going to be forever? Giving it another month, if I still feel this bad I will go review it with the doc again... :(

Totally lacking motivation too. Still not painted the landing walls, need to do a good tidy up and re-organise downstairs, I did the kitchen, just need to do the front room and the dumping ground, also known as the laundry room/back hall! With both mum's coming down in two weeks I had better get it sorted!!!

Yet again it has been a week....

since my last post! How lapse am I! I lost 1.5lb last week, and 1lb this week, so I have now lost my 1st stone! Got my little plastic pebble they give you each time you lose a stone...you get a 'stone'! Nice idea! Don't know what I am going to do with it though!

I am still in quandry with my life. Lots has been happening outside of my problems, which has helped me not to think about mine, or should that be hindered? When I finally got around to thinking about things yesterday I ended up in a heap of tears on the back hall floor. I wanted it to just all go away...but it won't....can't. It has to be faced and dealt with, and unfortunatly it is going to take time...lots of time, and patience.

My brother's wife had their 1st child...a boy, my Grandma is coming to the end of her life with one stroke after another, and my mum is in hospital having different investigative tests for what we are starting to think is phsycosamatic (sp?!) pains in her chest. Don't get me wrong, she has been through cancer and now has epilepsy and diabetes and 101 other things she takes meds for, but it is getting to be a habbit. I hope they find out what is wrong, if there is, or look at getting her some councilling.

Anyway, must go and attempt some normality for a few more hours....

Feeling blue...

Was feeling abit blue yesterday...a bit 'I can't be bothered with anything' blue. Made myself go shopping and do the mountain that was my ironing...now there's a story!

I got all set up, put the iron on and filled the steam bank with water, came upstairs to get the coat hangers and let it warm up. Stopped to check my emails, then did a little surfing on the Weight watchers site, tracked my points and suddenly remembered...I have left the iron on!!! Dash downstairs to find it had be switched onto steam so all the water was now gone! Would have been in a bit of a state if I had left it longer! I tell you, memory loss!

Driving is bad too, start of ok, but my concentration is not what it used to be. I find I am half way to my destination and can't remember getting there...! I will be glad when I am off the meds and can be 'normal' again!

Off for my weigh-in tonight...not looking forward to it. Don't think I am going to have lost much if any. May just be as I am in a stupid negative mood...I don't know, or maybe that I weighed myself midweek and was down to 16st 3.5lb, only 1/2 lb off loosing my 1st stone, but yesterday was 16st 6lb...Oh well, we will see.

Off to feed the kids...

It never rains....

but it pours.

Visiting family over the holidays, my eldest was sick for 3 days, and had diorrea, and on the night we all went out for a family meal, my mum had an accident, tripped up a step and dropped my 1yr old! Thinking she was fine, I took her home and put her to bed, she slept for about an hour then woke and would not settle.

Finally I realised there was something wrong with her leg, so took her to A&E at midnight...examinations, and an xray later, we find she has a broken leg :( finally get a 'back slab' on after giving her morphine and paracetamol and we make it to the children's ward at 5am, when she is wide awake and wants to play!!! Goes to sleep at 6am, and by 10am my other half comes to relive me so I can go get some sleep, as we were told it would be anytime from 1 - 4 pm before she got a pot on and was released, after seeing a pediatrician, due to it being the 2nd time in 7 months she has been into hospital. The 1st time was when I was carrying her at a hotel, down a corridor to breakfast, and some silly idiot thought it would be a good idea to have 2 steps in the middle of a corridor! I went flying, badly sprained my ankle, but thankfully she was ok. She was not so fortunate this time! They were home at 1pm, after getting a pot on at 11.3o and the pediatrician saying there were no worries! So she is dragging her pot very well, her teeth seem to be causing more bother!

Then last night, my other half began writhing in pain at midnight, but refused to go to hospital, saying it would be ok. Still in pain this morning and is due to see the doc any minute. Thinking gallstones or kidney infection....

So it is just me that is well so far! And after two weeks I have managed to loose 3.5lb! Total loss now 9.5lb! Woo hoo! Bought my slim-into dress in the sales, vibrant red! Hung it where I can see it to keep me focused!

Gotta go, baby crying.....

Dial up is SOOOO slow!

After waiting the two weeks for my broadband to arrive, I rang to see where it was....there had been a fault and it would be with me in 5 days....5 days later and I call again....after waiting on hold for 5 minutes, I am told there was a fault, and it will be 21 days!!!! Why does this happen to me? So I tell them to cancel the whole thing and I will go somewhere else...how hard can it be to get broadband? 10-14 days. (better than 21!) So whilst I am still waiting for the wonders an 8mg-thingamy-jig can do, I am stuck with dial up... How did we manage before broadband?! You can't watch anything on YOUTUBE, it stutters and starts as it takes 45 minutes to load a 5 minute clip, and every page I open, well, I could write this out quicker than it took to get somewhere! Rant over...unless my broadband doesn't arrive!

Had a haircut yesterday, went bob style with a fringe, from shoulder length to chin (which one!LOL!) length. How come it never looks the same as when they do it after you wash it? Other half says it is ok, but he likes it longer and can't get used to seeing me with it short. Still don't know myself...

So far I have lost 6lb at weight watchers, and have bought myself 2 incentive dresses in the sale in size 16. I was trying to work out when I would get into them, and my head hurts from trying to work it out, but going on roughly 1lb a week, I am looking at summer 2009!! Bit longer than I had hoped...maybe I will beat it?!

Had a stressful day today, seemed to have been telling my son of every 5 minutes for something or other... School holidays, who invented them?! Think it is his boredom. Bought some flashcards to try and get him on with his alphabet, as phonics doesn't seem to be working. Asked his teacher about dyslexia, runs in the family, and he has the early signs, but she said it is too early to tell, and he is doing ok for his age...so we will see. She should know by Easter if he isn't up to the stage he should be, and said it isn't really until they are 7 you can tell....2 years to go!

Well, think that is my news for this week...all still full of cold, nothing new there and the weather is still freezing! Time to get the bed blanket out I think!

Ill again....

Just seem to get rid of this darn cold when it starts up again! 1st my little one got it then she passed it on to me and her dad....feel rough again. Seems to be nevereneding illness at the moment in this house.

Weightwatchers is going ok, only lost 1lb this week, think going out for two meals and eating MacDonalds while we were with family this weekend may have something to do with it! Hopefully will loose more this week, especially with being ill and not eating much!

My other half looked after the kids yesterday while I 'died' in bed, bless him he tidied up the kitchen, the best way a man can, and did the ironing! Took him the best part of 4 hours!! he did iron towels and underwear though, silly man!! Just got to get all the clean washing upstairs and put away now! Not a great holiday for him though, with us all being ill, and not much getting done. When I feel better it's time for a blitz I think! Front room is begining to look like a bomb site, given the kitchen a quick clean while I had a little relapse in feeling rough, so that isn't too bad, but need to blitz upstairs too.... oh well, it never ends.....

Weight watchers going well...

Managed to loose 3.5lb in my first week! Hoping for a good loss this week too as I was sick on Thurdsay and cosiquently didn't eat much!

Still waiting for my modem to come...so posts are few and far between. I am doing this at my mums as we are away for the weekend.

My little baby is now a toddler. She was 1 on friday. Due to being so ill on the thursday night and not feeling too bright on the Friday, I didn't have time to dwell on re-living the nightmare that was her birth, which is probably a good thing. The tablets also helped me thinks!

Going to see the doc next month about cutting back and hopefully getting off them in march... we will see...

Gotta go, too many 'visitors'!

You never know how much you will miss something...

Until you no longer have it....

My computer crashed on me at the beginning of last week. After trying to salvage it, I had to re-boot the whole system and start from scratch...all my documents...gone, all my photos...gone, every programme loaded...gone! Hence no posts until now...which has taken me an age to get online as I have had to go by cable....! How slow can you go............

Waiting on my new Internet connection to arrive in the next couple of weeks, to be broadband again...oh the joys of simple things! I have felt quite lost without my daily browse.....

I have also taken the plunge and joined weight watchers....can't believe how much I weighted....17stone 3lb! Doing very well...I think! sticking to the points and eating what I like, almost. I have felt hungry a few times, but trying to eat healthy snacks to push me on until it's meal time. Weigh in on Wednesday so I will post my loss... I HOPE! Aiming for a big loss with it being my 1st week...going for 7lb....think I will make it?! Only time will tell!

Well, off to browse...slowly as it takes forever to load pages!!!!!

Thankfully my little lady seems to be over her sick bug...Tuesday night was the last bought. She has had 'solids' for the first time tonight and was very pleased to be back to normal!

My sisters scan went well too, so I had no reason to worry on that front either!

My son seems to have the ability to stay awake from 7.30am until 10pm...without any naps! Where does he get all of his energy from? I am sure they must give them something at school just before they leave to make them hyper! Revenge for having them for 3 hours a day!

Went on a shopping spree this afternoon...bought myself a new coat (a need) and a necklace (a want) for a 'do' next Friday, plus Xmas pressies for nearly everyone, almost got it covered...only 3 more to get...I think, no 4, forgot mother-in-law! Thoroughly enjoyed it, but would have enjoyed it more without the kids!

I have also decided I am going to join weight watchers....really need to sort out my weight! So I may be posting more about dribble just so I don't eat as it occupies my hands! Off to find out where to join...