Ok, Guess the news.....

I bet you can! Though I am totally dumb! And mad!

We went up to see the new arrival, and mum asked if she could come up with us, 'not to see your dad, I want to see the kids/grand kids' - OK.
So, she stays downstairs, we are upstairs, we get there late Friday night and hubby goes out to see Alfie... on his own (kind of knew he would want to but still felt a bit put out. Though it is his daughter/grandchild and nothing really to do with me as that is the kind of relationship we have, not really a step mum relationship, just his dad's wife.) Next day, we all go, bar mum who is going out. Find out when I get back, yep, she has gone out to lunch with my dad....?!?!?!

Everyone knew that was why she came up, except it seems me who is so trusting and actually believed she didn't want to see him, after telling me only 5 days before she was going for a divorce again! Why do I always get suckered in? Had a good night out with the girls that night, got home reasonably early at 1.45am, but after getting my sister in after falling over 4 times then falling flat again in the flat, we eventually got to eat our pizza - by this time cold, and then after her partner went to bed in disgust (at the state she was in! She couldn't even remember going to my mum before we came upstairs and getting right in her face saying 'mum, do you really love dad? REALLY love him? do you?!' as we drag her off upstairs!) we were talking rubbish, my sister telling me she could see so much sadness in my eyes and why didn't I just let it all out? Eventually got away to bed at 4am! ARGH! So I didn't get much sleep! Saw Alfie again, took loads of pics, and then we set off back home.

Today, mum has told me she is moving back in with my dad.....I sit and shake my head as I type this....I think I really should just wash my hands of it all. Think about getting some training and emigrating! Best off away from it all? She is giving notice on her flat and will be off up in January. Said that part of what has held her back is the fact me and the kids will not be up there.... well thanks for that! Will I fall for it again if she ends up changing her mind? How much rope do you give your mum? How long do you keep being there to pick up the pieces?

Alfie really is a lovely baby. So good for her too. She seems to be doing very well too. I always wondered how on earth I would cope on my own, but if I had a baby like she has and no PND I would probably have been alright! I did at one point think this could have been our baby, looking back when she first said she was pregnant, and hubby wanted her to get an abortion and I said I would rather she had it and we brought it up than that, though that was never a plan as she wanted him. Next visit, 4 weeks!

2nd RANT

Still mad, though calmed down a little...only a little mind you!

So, told hubby, who just laughed. He said it would be interesting to see if dad wanted to see the kids this weekend, I said there's no chance of that! I still am in shock, two weeks ago she wanted to die because of this man, and now that is all supposed to be forgiven and forgotten and lets get on with it again?! Was it all just to get him to come running back to her? (well, you have to wonder!) In her counselling sessions, what she did speak to me about anyway, when she was 'inside' they told her he was making it pretty obvious that he wanted either his cake and eat it, or out of it all together! And she agreed, and coming to terms with this fact was part of her rehabilitation...so what is she doing!?! Playing the system? Totally madly and crazily in love with the man? I know they have 'been together for 35 years' (it would have been their anniversary this Tuesday gone and she spent the day seeing councillors then at our house overnight!!!) but that still does not get away from the fact that he is a total low life cheating bastard who likes dick! ARghhhgggggghhhh!!!!!!!

ok, breath....

I just can't understand it. I really can't. Is it just me? I could never live with that....ever.
Then I think about what I have been through, but it is no comparison to them. I don't feel like a hypocrite for staying, my hubby has never cheated on me, let alone gone round with any tom dick or harry! We have our problems, and maybe that is why I would be straight out that door if he ever ever cheated, no matter what excuse. But I just can't see it from her point....

Phew, calmed down a touch now...

And this is going to ruin her wanting to get back on good ground with 2 of her kids, one who really has totally disowned her I think, and the other who only will speak to her if she calls, and doesn't want to know what is going on with her anymore... when they found out about the 'suicidal' incident, which they found out from my dad because mum rang and told him?! (WTF AGAIN!!!) they had no sympathy, and said it was all just a ploy, and maybe they're right....

Why do we have to have such mixed up parents?!

Soooo Mad!!!

ARGGGGHHHH!
She has done it again! Made me mad. How can one woman be soooo stupid! Ignorant? Devious? ARghhhh!
I have to come on here because she doesn't want anyone else to know, so I can't vent anywhere else, though could tell hubby, who would just say I told you so....and that would be it!
She is seeing my dad, he's coming down for the weekend. He (or she/he?!) has ended their 'friendship' and he wants no part of his 'former lifestyle'. WTF! (yep, that's right, she has even got me cursing!) So, she is 'still his wife' as she told me when she told me today, and has had lots of good advice from people (though no one knows?!? WTF AGAIN!) and is going to see how it goes, and he wants to change, and they, 'if we did eventually get back together for good' would move somewhere completely different, away from everyone/thing that reminds them of their/his history.
ARRRRRRRRRHHHHHH! Suicide watch is over. She was out in 2 days, but being seen daily and called, but they signed off on her last week, to see the gp and get a personal phsycologist, to go through CBT. So she is on longer a 'worry'. ...... HMMMMM!!!!
Going for tea, instalment two later.....