Longest time between posts....

So much has happened.

Stepson now home and in the old laundry room, he was quite happy to go in there and as he arrived whilst I was visiting family, they got on with sorting it out for him so that is where he lives! Don't see much of him, as he spends most of his time in there! Has been useful though for when we needed an immediate babysitter!

Family visit....well, wish I hadn't stayed so long, just short of two weeks and I was sooo glad to get back home! I felt in the way, torn between mum/rest of the family, as they are all against her but feel sorry for my dad? Apart from my brother who still can't stand him, but doesn't have time for her either! Bit sad really, as they seem to blame her, came out with a lot of stuff etc that made me think about her differently and wish they hadn't, though she is still my mum, drives me potty, but I still love her to bits.

Speaking of mum, she is currently in the Mental Health Unit at the local hospital. Got a call to take her to the docs yesterday, which I felt put out by at the time, as it was tea time, and was just getting shopping in, but having a live-in baby sitter, I went and took her. She didn't say why she was going, but when she went in the nurse asked why she was down...so guessed what was going on... She was referred to psychologist at the A & E dept, so spent over an hour waiting to be seen, then got moved to the MHU and then I went to get her some night clothes, medications and bits, with the assumption that she would be home possibly today. They are keeping her in another night, but looks like she will be out tomorrow, and referred to GP to see the health team, why they can't sort all this out in there I don't know! She said today when I took more clothes up that the Psychologist had told her basically to buck up, there were worse people than her out there and she had to go home and face it....! Hmmmmm strange psychology to me to someone who wants to kill themselves! Anyway, not letting anyone else know, as they would be of the same opinion as my hubby that it is all for attention. But then, if it is, why not give the attention?! Just don't get it myself! As he says, if you are going to kill yourself just get on with it and don't faff....that's his psychology!

I think it is all hitting her. She was up looking after dad who got swine flu about a month back now, and when he was better he was off out, living his life, leaving her in, until she came home. They had talked about her moving back, but he admitted he didn't really want that, and that his relationship with the he/she meant more to him than her. He spends most of his time with and talking about her, even to mum, that she has finally taken the hint, and it has hurt her to think he spends the time with he/she that he never spent with her. She decided to go for divorce again, but is waiting for him to commit adultery again (!) which he basically admitted wouldn't take long.... Plus, she rang my brother to arrange to see her grandson, she says he never got back to her, he says she never bothered, top and bottom of it is she feels she will never see him. so that added to it all, and she thinks one sister won't talk to her, which in a way is kind of true, she will talk to her, but only if needed, and only basic stuff. My sister says she is 'cutting the bad' out of her life, including mum and dad, though she spends more time with him.... So this is where we are....limbo land. My aunt knows what is going on, as she was the one who told my mum to go to the doc as she was really worried about her.

Me, well, I am just coasting along really. Full of cold at the minute, which doesn't help with trying to get stuff done, have a mountain of washing from being away, and then all this, house is a bomb site, and I don't seem to get anything done! Still on the meds, probably why I am coasting through it all! Step daughter is due to drop in 3 weeks too, so will be off up North again soon! Still sleeping in most days, but with cold, that is my excuse! I have got up when we have been away, so I know I can do it, though I yawn all day! Oh, and another 'It could only happen to me' moments happened last week!

I went for my urology test, to check my bladder function. After getting there 10 mins late (not my fault, got stuck at the level crossing for 7 mins, then drove round the hospital car park for nearly 10 mins!) she said they would see me as they allowed 10 mins, and I had 'just' made it! Cheek! So go in, saying she has to rush etc and fills out the forms and goes to log it on the computer, when there is a power cut! Comes on again in a minute though so she re-boots, it hasn't saved so she starts again, bang, another one! She looked at me and said it is going to be one of those days! Anyway a student doc then arrives and asked if he could observe, I had no problem with it, with having 2 babies and umpteen examinations, nothing fazes me now (oh, and another one, whilst on holiday in Denmark, we went swimming----they don't allow showering in a costume! So they are all there, letting it all hang out, and I thought well, if they can do it, then why shouldn't I? ... haha! How brave...or naive? am I!) So, I digress, I pee in the chair that checks how much I do and how my flow goes (!) then they come back in and insert 2 catheters...one in vagina and one in urethra (?) then fill my bladder with saline. Very strange sensation! As it fills they sit me up and see if I leek...nope. So stand up, then I cough, and leek, then as she is filling my bladder I have to say when I get the 1st urge to pee, then when I would pee if at home, then when I would be rushing to find a toilet when out shopping,. and finally when I was bursting and had to go NOW! All the time she has me coughing between them. So, I get to the 3rd one and start to feel sick, I say 'can I sit down I feel sick, and she lowered me onto the potty, only for me to pass out! Next thing I am being dragged out of strange dream to sounds of 'you're ok, come on, are you there?' and there are about 6 people all around. They get me on the bed, put on a fan, and I start to realise what has happened and come round! She says she has never made anyone pass out before and she isn't going to live it down all day! They checked my blood sugar levels, as the only time I had felt the same was when I was pregnant and had a hypo, but it was fine, so they put it down to rushing around! I told the student doc, if anything was going to go wrong it would do with me! Thankfully, she said I didn't have to go through the test again, she had all the info she needed! PHEW!!! So, my bladder is fine, my bowel is slightly prolapsed through (?) which could be a small reason for the stress incontinence. So now I wait to see the consultant again and where we go from here, though I would not want surgery after my last time in theatre!

So, that's all ...wow, two months....what more can happen this year....?!