Well, haven't blogged for a few weeks as I got a call saying my Grandad didn't have long to live, so rushed up to be with him. I'm glad I went when I did, as I got to see him with him knowing we went, and were there, as the next day we changed his medication which made him sleep more and be 'out of it' most of the time, as he was getting panicky with the hiccups and struggling to catch his breath. It was 'all part of the process of dying'. I sat and held his hand a few times when I was up, and felt so useless compared to my brother who was so wonderful and caring with him. I think he went up twice a day to be with him, and was with him at the end, along with my sister and mum. My dad was asleep, and I was 1o minutes too late.
A lot was said, a lot of hurt was felt, and there will always be a distance between my family now. My brother and sisters and I all held our own private 'ceremony' after the cremation on Friday, where it dutifully rained all day, up at the clock tower where my grandma wanted her ashes to be, but they never got there due to my father's wishes and his awful philandering. My brother and one sister only found this out at his death, and my brother was so distraught. He feels as though everything has been taken from him, as he really looked up to my grandad, like a father. We have agreed that we will meet up once a year on their wedding anniversary, and have a meal or just go for a drink, and remember them and their strong relationship, which is a wonderful example of true love. We also agreed that if out parents say anything about any of us, we will go to that person and check if it is true, as so many lies were told, it really was heart breaking.
My mum may be getting back together with my dad, who inherited my grandad's flat and money. She is undecided, but they are still friends, and spend a lot of time together....what a mess! She just needs to cut him out of her life and get on with hers. And he needs to crawl off into a dark pit.
My diet obviously took a nose dive, and after loosing 3lb the week before I left, in the two weeks I was away I gained 3.5lb! To be expected though, and I am back on track today! I am going to do this!
The house sale, that is not going to happen. For what we would get for it its not worth it. So we are hanging on to it ... for now. Still worried about money, but come to the conclusion so is everyone!
Well, that is all for now, must get on with tidying the mess of a house and washing the mountain of clothes!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment