Yet again it has been a week....

since my last post! How lapse am I! I lost 1.5lb last week, and 1lb this week, so I have now lost my 1st stone! Got my little plastic pebble they give you each time you lose a stone...you get a 'stone'! Nice idea! Don't know what I am going to do with it though!

I am still in quandry with my life. Lots has been happening outside of my problems, which has helped me not to think about mine, or should that be hindered? When I finally got around to thinking about things yesterday I ended up in a heap of tears on the back hall floor. I wanted it to just all go away...but it won't....can't. It has to be faced and dealt with, and unfortunatly it is going to take time...lots of time, and patience.

My brother's wife had their 1st child...a boy, my Grandma is coming to the end of her life with one stroke after another, and my mum is in hospital having different investigative tests for what we are starting to think is phsycosamatic (sp?!) pains in her chest. Don't get me wrong, she has been through cancer and now has epilepsy and diabetes and 101 other things she takes meds for, but it is getting to be a habbit. I hope they find out what is wrong, if there is, or look at getting her some councilling.

Anyway, must go and attempt some normality for a few more hours....

Busy busy busy....

Well, my weigh-in wasn't so bad...I had lost 2lb. And it's time for another one tonight! Think I have done very well this week...tried to stay away from the scales, but did hop on last night - 16st 2lb! So we shall see! This will mean my 1st stone loss! HURRAH! Apparently it is the easiest....

Had a rough week. Not up to talking or even blogging about it yet...still got a lot to decide. Suffice to say my marriage may be over. Great for the weight loss, not so great on my mental health!!

After blogging about my bad memory, I only went and left a candle burning in our bedroom for 6 hours +! Thankfully I didn't burn the house down...but I won't be doing that again!

Well, going to get ready to get my results, and sort out some tea...getting hungry and it's only 4.30!

Feeling blue...

Was feeling abit blue yesterday...a bit 'I can't be bothered with anything' blue. Made myself go shopping and do the mountain that was my ironing...now there's a story!

I got all set up, put the iron on and filled the steam bank with water, came upstairs to get the coat hangers and let it warm up. Stopped to check my emails, then did a little surfing on the Weight watchers site, tracked my points and suddenly remembered...I have left the iron on!!! Dash downstairs to find it had be switched onto steam so all the water was now gone! Would have been in a bit of a state if I had left it longer! I tell you, memory loss!

Driving is bad too, start of ok, but my concentration is not what it used to be. I find I am half way to my destination and can't remember getting there...! I will be glad when I am off the meds and can be 'normal' again!

Off for my weigh-in tonight...not looking forward to it. Don't think I am going to have lost much if any. May just be as I am in a stupid negative mood...I don't know, or maybe that I weighed myself midweek and was down to 16st 3.5lb, only 1/2 lb off loosing my 1st stone, but yesterday was 16st 6lb...Oh well, we will see.

Off to feed the kids...

Memory loss

Well, I made the appointment to see the doctor last week, after deciding sooner rather than later would be better to get this sorted. It only took 3 days to remember to call too! So I have decreased my mg to 20 for this month then 10mg for next month, and then the final week, one every other day...and I will be med free!

And every time I remember this blog...and decide I should post soon, I go on to forget again! My baby had to go see about getting a new pot on as the other was cutting into the back of her leg, and we got the appointment to see the bone specialist this week...I had convinced myself it was today she was getting out of the pot...but it turns out it is tomorrow! If I hadn't mentioned it to by oh last night, I would have been getting ready to go and wasting £2 in the parking meter!

And as I am typing this, I can't remember, even though I just read it, if I have already said about her needing a new pot!! Roll on April!

My oh is going for the snip on Saturday, so 3 months down the line I won't (hopefully) be on the pill anymore either! Totally pill free! Apart from starting on the magnesium to stop the pmt migraines! Will If I remember I'll let you all know how it goes!

Meds and Memory

I have decided that I really need to see about coming off my anti-d's. I think I have got to the stage now where I am feeling a lot better in myself, more able to cope, and I feel that they are effecting my thoughts and decision making.

For example, when my little girl had her 'drop' I just held her and soother her while she cried, checked briefly for any bruises and bumps on her head, and carried on. Last time she was 'dropped', after the bump/bruise checks, I stood her up to check her legs and that she could hold her head up! That is what you are supposed to do after all. So why not do it this time? - Bad memory affected by my pills... And when my husband was writhing in pain the other night, all I could say was 'if you are going to be sick can you go to the bathroom' as I would be the one left to clean the mess! And as he moaned and groaned in bed, I just wanted him to shut up so I could sleep! How bad is that! I would normally be all over him, making him comfortable or taking him to A&E! Again, strike of the meds, dulling my senses and feelings.

So I am going to see the doc when I am due my next batch, in about 3 weeks, to see about de-creasing and coming off...I want to be me again, whatever 'me' is...

It never rains....

but it pours.

Visiting family over the holidays, my eldest was sick for 3 days, and had diorrea, and on the night we all went out for a family meal, my mum had an accident, tripped up a step and dropped my 1yr old! Thinking she was fine, I took her home and put her to bed, she slept for about an hour then woke and would not settle.

Finally I realised there was something wrong with her leg, so took her to A&E at midnight...examinations, and an xray later, we find she has a broken leg :( finally get a 'back slab' on after giving her morphine and paracetamol and we make it to the children's ward at 5am, when she is wide awake and wants to play!!! Goes to sleep at 6am, and by 10am my other half comes to relive me so I can go get some sleep, as we were told it would be anytime from 1 - 4 pm before she got a pot on and was released, after seeing a pediatrician, due to it being the 2nd time in 7 months she has been into hospital. The 1st time was when I was carrying her at a hotel, down a corridor to breakfast, and some silly idiot thought it would be a good idea to have 2 steps in the middle of a corridor! I went flying, badly sprained my ankle, but thankfully she was ok. She was not so fortunate this time! They were home at 1pm, after getting a pot on at 11.3o and the pediatrician saying there were no worries! So she is dragging her pot very well, her teeth seem to be causing more bother!

Then last night, my other half began writhing in pain at midnight, but refused to go to hospital, saying it would be ok. Still in pain this morning and is due to see the doc any minute. Thinking gallstones or kidney infection....

So it is just me that is well so far! And after two weeks I have managed to loose 3.5lb! Total loss now 9.5lb! Woo hoo! Bought my slim-into dress in the sales, vibrant red! Hung it where I can see it to keep me focused!

Gotta go, baby crying.....