Ok, Guess the news.....

I bet you can! Though I am totally dumb! And mad!

We went up to see the new arrival, and mum asked if she could come up with us, 'not to see your dad, I want to see the kids/grand kids' - OK.
So, she stays downstairs, we are upstairs, we get there late Friday night and hubby goes out to see Alfie... on his own (kind of knew he would want to but still felt a bit put out. Though it is his daughter/grandchild and nothing really to do with me as that is the kind of relationship we have, not really a step mum relationship, just his dad's wife.) Next day, we all go, bar mum who is going out. Find out when I get back, yep, she has gone out to lunch with my dad....?!?!?!

Everyone knew that was why she came up, except it seems me who is so trusting and actually believed she didn't want to see him, after telling me only 5 days before she was going for a divorce again! Why do I always get suckered in? Had a good night out with the girls that night, got home reasonably early at 1.45am, but after getting my sister in after falling over 4 times then falling flat again in the flat, we eventually got to eat our pizza - by this time cold, and then after her partner went to bed in disgust (at the state she was in! She couldn't even remember going to my mum before we came upstairs and getting right in her face saying 'mum, do you really love dad? REALLY love him? do you?!' as we drag her off upstairs!) we were talking rubbish, my sister telling me she could see so much sadness in my eyes and why didn't I just let it all out? Eventually got away to bed at 4am! ARGH! So I didn't get much sleep! Saw Alfie again, took loads of pics, and then we set off back home.

Today, mum has told me she is moving back in with my dad.....I sit and shake my head as I type this....I think I really should just wash my hands of it all. Think about getting some training and emigrating! Best off away from it all? She is giving notice on her flat and will be off up in January. Said that part of what has held her back is the fact me and the kids will not be up there.... well thanks for that! Will I fall for it again if she ends up changing her mind? How much rope do you give your mum? How long do you keep being there to pick up the pieces?

Alfie really is a lovely baby. So good for her too. She seems to be doing very well too. I always wondered how on earth I would cope on my own, but if I had a baby like she has and no PND I would probably have been alright! I did at one point think this could have been our baby, looking back when she first said she was pregnant, and hubby wanted her to get an abortion and I said I would rather she had it and we brought it up than that, though that was never a plan as she wanted him. Next visit, 4 weeks!

Topsy turvy

That's my life right now. All over the place.

Full of cold, feel crap, came on and want to sleep for England. Mum is 'off' dad again, 'he isn't going to change' ~ er, we've been telling you that for ages! Lets see how long that lasts eh?!

On a positive note, I have joined a gym (free! YAY!) and I am going to get myself sorted out! Been twice so far, and then got a cold so haven't been for a couple of days! Waiting to get back though so that must be good right? I am hoping to go 3 times a week to start, and build up. Should help on many fronts, moods, weight, fitness....



I am now a step-grandma....though don't call myself that as I don't really feel like a step-mum! Hubby's daughter gave birth Sunday, after going into labour Saturday afternoon. All I got from hubby was poor thing's had a hard time of it, going all this time, she's worn out bla-de-bla and all I could think was, yes, and when I gave birth to our son I was in labour for the same length of time too you know! Is that jealousy? I didn't say anything, as it would have seemed petty, but I still felt it! Ah well, he's here now, safe and well. Still have to go see him, though I was 'told off' for announcing on facebook that hubby was now a grandad! (Hence why I don't feel remotely part of all of this! I mean, why would MY family want to know, right?!!!) Ha, so much for controlling my anger! haha! Put it down to pmt! Being full of cold we probably won't get up there until next week now. And I am partly can't wait to see him, and partly, will I just be in the way, not involved etc etc....


And then, to add to it, hubby's eldest who is living with us went into hospital on Monday with suspected Asthma and acute bronchitis! He's still in there now. I asked if they told him to stop smoking, and hubby just said what has that got to do with it?! I told him it probably caused it! But he said he's too young to have it from that, it's just an infection, despite the fact their mother smoked all her life and then he started at about 17! But then hubby thinks the big 'smoking kills' is all a load of tosh! He knows loads of people who smoke and are fine! (His mum being someone who is held together by nicotine!) Anyway, we shall see what happens when he gets out.

As for me, just wish this could would go now, so I could get things done, get on top of things, cleaning/ironing etc. And get on with life.