Well it didn't work.....

I am still undecided! I did try, got myself going one direction, then something happened and I changed my mind to go another direction...then changed again...! So I am still stuck with no idea. Ok, I have some ideas, but they don't match, so it's a case of pick one or the other, and I am struggling with them........

Do I stay, or do I go?
Benefits of staying v's benefits of going....?
Why is it all so hard? Why did he do it? Why has it got so bad and out of control?
To many 'Why's'......

Grandma is still hanging on in there, bless her. My family is moving house, another dilemma! They rent ours at the mo, but that can't go on with the situation as it is... more hassle :(

Sometimes I wish I could just curl up in a ball and sleep my life away....

Not very good or decisive but there you have it!

Weigh-in tomorrow night, and after putting on 1/2 lb last week I am hoping to have lost this week, though it is doubtful after going out for tapas on Sunday! Pigging out to try and ease the indecision's isn't helping either!

Oh well, here's to more thinking and deliberating and procrastinating......

So much for not waiting too long....!

It's been over a week this time since my last blog! Blaming the school holidays, too many distractions!

My period arrived today, so my mood has should improve.... at least my other half hopes so! Apparently I am a nightmare to live with with my moods and temprement.... I don't think I am, I know I have off days but not so as to be a nightmare...or am I kidding myself?

Feeling a little let down, in general. Angry, at myself. Angry at him. Sad and emotional. Tired...always seem tired though! Still confused and waiting for direction. Another wait...all I seem to do is wait....maybe I need to get off my butt and take definitive action...starting tomorrow I will be more decisive...!

(I'll let you know how I get on!)

Life is like that....

Some times we have lots of time, sometimes we don't....seems like I don't right now.

My Grandma has been diagnosed with womb cancer now. It is just a matter of time....again. I wish she would just fall asleep and never wake up in pain again. My mum has had something confirmed as being wrong, (can't remember the name for it now!) and had a stomach lining infection. She is out and about again.

Had my routine smear test this week....not very plessant. I know it's not at the best of times, but somehow it seemed worse this time round. And now I have to wait 8 weeks for the results...another waiting game.

Life seems full of them!

I have done some crying today, was ill yesterday, and the day before that my 'wonderful desease' decided it hadn't paid a visit for a while so made itself known... Maybe that's why I feel so rough and depressed! Found out I had dropped my meds dose too soon, I should have stayed on the 20mg for another 2 months before dropping to 10mg! Thanks Doc! So back upto 20mg and waiting/praying for the kick-in....

Will try not to leave it so long between posts, getting it out helps....