Therapy

Started two weeks ago with the CBT. Had my 2nd session yesterday. I know people have said that you can feel worse sometimes after before feeling better, and yesterday I realised that it can be true. I went there thinking/feeling a lot better thinking 'do I really need to go, I am doing very well this week...' to realising that I do, ended up crying most of the session! I think confronting thoughts can be hard, and we skirted some of the harder ones that were too painful. On a good note, as I brought up about maybe loving one child more than the other, she tried to get me to think about why, and I thought maybe I was compensating for the birth trauma, fact that I could have lost her so love her more, but she made a point I had never ever thought of, as I had mentioned that whenever my hubby says that surly I would go through everything again to have her, I don't think I would, and that is why I am more loving/lenient towards her, as I feel guilt that I would not go through it again.... very eye opening.
Got a book on depression, 'Depression, the curse of the strong' to try and help hubby understand. I want to try and read it first though and see if he would benefit from reading it, or pick holes in it (which he probably will do no matter what!)
Hoping to get away for a couple of days with the family next month. Have my sons birthday at the end of this month, and thanks to hubby's contacts we have got a party at partyman world for free!(He is doing them a free write up in the paper!) All we have to do is provide the cake! So a ben 10 cake is all it is costing .....PHEW!
Mum is back to getting divorced....last week she went from it being on, to off to on again in the space of 5 days! It's now been done online, paid for and should be through within 12 weeks...so we shall see! Never say never I have learnt as far the the whole mum/dad/together/not goes. It has made me laugh though.... which is better than pulling my hair out! I also think she has her eye on someone! haha! ah well, going to go now, got to pick up my son and then come home and veg out...as I am having one of those days...